I want to be rescued by one of these. They have Krav Maga grip, come with a functioning Galil and canine companion, and you can accessorize them with olive or desert fatigues and a variety of kippot.
What evil forces do I need to fend off? Umm… I’ll think of some. But better go ahead and send one, just in case, with an extra case of Israeli match ammo. The zombie apocalypse is never far away. And we have snakes in our yard. Yeah, really big ones.
And, damnit, bring me one of those Galils. They’re like AK’s for women. Practically purse-size! I’ll help rescue myself.
Keri M. Peardon 