Keri’s Day in Pictures

Hello, my children. I thought it would be nice to explore my day at the office using pictures to illustrate what all I have accomplished.

I woke up this morning and walked a mile on the treadmill while reading an interesting book. In the car on my way to work, I listened to an interesting lecture on how our beliefs shape our reality.

As I was driving around the courthouse square, I had to instruct an American on how to navigate what is essentially a roundabout. I don’t think he heard me over the roar of his truck, as he tried to run over me, but I know I was in the right in regards to the traffic laws–which I did not have to explain to a law enforcement officer, as we did not collide.

This trained monkey is fictitious, and any resemblance to any person(s) at a large corporation is purely coincidental.

I came into the office, turned on my equipment and lights, and checked my attorney’s e-mail. There was an e-mail from a client who is having trouble with her bank. We have been having trouble with this bank for sometime.

In an effort not to deal with it, I took up working on our business taxes.



But, at last, the time came when I had to call the bank and see if I could straighten out the problem (note, the client had already tried calling and e-mailing them and had gotten nowhere).

Of course, because of client confidentiality, I cannot reveal what all went on during the 1-hour phone call with the bank, but without going into details, here is a progression of the phone call:


In case you’re a little slow processing pictures, after my hour-long phone call I am no closer to getting a reason behind the problem, much less a solution.

The real pisser? It’s just now lunch. I still have half a day to go. And a client just called to let me know that a particular company is not giving her the information we need for her case. So I have to call and find out what’s up with them.

“So the moral of the story is: never try.”


And Judaism is wrong: there is a hell. It’s called a phone queue at a large corporation (including banks).

The more time I spend on the phone with businesses like that, the more convinced I am that the government should have let them fail during the Recession, so they could have reorganized (under Chapter 11) into smaller, more functional banks.

Maybe they would have even evolved to the point where the left hand knows what the right hand is doing. Too big to fail? Try too big to function. I swear, I have a better success rate with government agencies (even if their working days are abnormally short).

(All Simpsons pictures are copyrighted by creator Matt Groening.)

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