“Acceptance” Is Not “Twlight.” I Swear.

Reasoning with Vampires does make a good point: Bella is perpetually whiny and/or moody. I did get tired of her poor self-esteem. (While most teens go through similar insecurities at some point, I hope that Twilight doesn’t encourage teens to be like that. It’s bad enough when it happens naturally; I’d hate for it to be purposefully cultivated.)

My protagonist maintains more dignity when she doesn’t have contact with her crush for a week:

Kalyn had been a little surprised she hadn’t heard from Anselm all week, but when she said something to her mother about it, Alice shrugged it off. “He knows your exams are coming up. He won’t bother you during the school week—not when there are enough other people to do it instead.”

Still, Kalyn felt rather deflated. Her parents and Isaac had all spent quite a bit of time talking to her about her Acceptance before it happened. Then there was everything in the ceremony itself: it had sounded as if she was selling herself into life-long slavery. But now that it had happened once, that seemed to be it. It was rather like her experience with Anselm: it was much less dramatic than she had expected.

Ah, well, such is life. You think coming of age is going to be this big, world-changing event, but as soon as your birthday’s over, everything goes back to normal. (Guess what. Losing your virginity is like that, too.)

I really need to quit reading RwV, though. I’ve already gone back and changed some punctuation around. This could easily get out of hand and lead to an eleventh edit (at the eleventh hour, no less). At some point you’ve just got to stop and step away from the word processor.

But I care. I really do.

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