The Bloodsuckers, Episode 17: It’s a Date

“Sorry, I’m late,” Josie said, as she breezed into the office Friday evening, tossing her pocketbook carelessly into her desk drawer and slamming the drawer shut with her foot.

“That’s alright,” Scott said, distracted by the pile of work Josie had left in his in box the previous day. “No one’s coming in until seven anyways.”

Josie flopped down into her desk chair with a tired, half-exasperated sigh.

Scott glanced at her and perked a brow. “Oversleep?”

“No, I had a dinner date. I thought I was never going to get away. It was like trying to pull off a damn octopus.”

Scott was momentarily shocked. “A… dinner date?” he stammered.

She held up a hand. “My mother’s doing, I assure you. She’s been nagging me to go out for months, and I just couldn’t take it anymore; she beat me down.”

“So… who was it with?” He hoped he sounded casual.

“The son of one of her friends from mahjong club. That’s what middle-aged Jewish women do when they get together—they Yente. They play mahjong and drink wine and pair up their kids.”

“But… it didn’t go well?” Damnit, that sounded hopeful.

She looked up at him. “Complete and total dweeb. And a letch to boot.”

Keep the smile off the face. Keep the smile off the face.

He almost managed it, but a small one snuck on there anyways. “I guess that’s why he needs his mother to get him a date.”

Josie laughed. “I think you’re right.” She looked up at him more seriously. “You’d think the guy hadn’t been out on a date since senior prom. I mean, I could forgive him for being boring at dinner—he’s a medical resident, so I know they don’t have a life outside the hospital—but, first, he wouldn’t take a hint that I needed to leave for work, then he insisted on walking me to my car, and the next thing I know, he’s kissing me—only it was like having my face stuck to the end of a vacuum cleaner hose.”

Scott wasn’t sure if he wanted to laugh or be jealous. He ended up snorting as a sort of compromise.

“Then his hands started going places, like he was giving me a physical.”

Jealous. Definitely jealous. “Do I need to meet this guy?” Scott asked, frowning.

“I took care of him,” she replied.

“Are you sure?”

She looked at him, confused. “Are you… jealous, Scott?”

He glanced away. “Me?” he said with completely phony cheerfulness.

She looked away too. “I… didn’t know we were dating.”

He winced a little. They weren’t dating. Yes, they had sex frequently, and yes she fed him once or twice a week, and yes, he stayed the day at her house while his apartment was being constructed, but they hadn’t been out on so much as one date. No dinner, no movie—nothing.

He was ashamed to admit it, but he had never even thought about asking her out. It was as if, when they put their clothes back on, everything went back to business as usual.

“I… um… we haven’t been… I don’t think,” he finally admitted.

“Okay,” she said, sounding relieved. “I just went out with Max to get my mother to shut up, but… I mean… what would she say if she knew you and I were dating? That’s worse than just being friends with benefits.”

“She wouldn’t like me because I’m a vampire,” he stated more than asked.

“Yeah. Well, actually…” she paused, considering the question. “If you were a Jewish lawyer, she’d probably forgive you for being a vampire. It’s the fact that you’re a goy that’s a real problem.”

“Am I a shiksa?”

She laughed. “A shiksa is a woman, Scott.”

“What’s the word for a man?”

“I can’t quite remember—shygetz, or something like that. No one really uses it. There’s just nice Jewish boys and men who are not nice Jewish boys.”

“Sounds like your date tonight wasn’t a nice Jewish boy, either,” he said, needling ever so slightly.

She frowned, obviously seeing the truth in his words. Then she looked up at him, her mouth set in a determined line. “Tomorrow night?”

“It’s a date,” he said with a grin.

Read the entire series–The Bloodsuckers: Vampire Lawyers of Middle Tennessee

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