The Voices in Charlie Sheen’s Rice Krispies

I think everyone’s talking about Charlie Sheen on the news today. I really know nothing about him as an actor (we don’t have access to television at our house, so I’ve never seen his show on CBS), but he’s sure making a hell of an impression.

“I wish [the show’s creator] nothing but pain in his silly travels especially if they wind up in my octagon. Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words — imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists,” – From Yahoo TV

Unless Charlie Sheen is trying to get into character for an upcoming role as Kim Jong Il (complete with non-sensical English), he is tripped out on some serious shit. And this was written in a letter. I have some sympathy for people who say the wrong thing (I have serious foot-in-the-mouth disease myself), but when you’re writing a letter, you have time to think about it and revise it before you send it. Which leads me to conclude his weed is laced with formaldhyde, or his crack has lead in it, or something.

“It’s nothing this side of deplorable that a certain Chaim Levine, yeah, that’s Chuck’s real name, mistook this rock star for his own selfish exit strategy, bro,” Sheen said. According to, Chuck Lorre was born Charles Michael Levine. “Check it, Alex,” Sheen added, “I embarrassed him in front of his children and the world by healing at a pace that his unevolved mind cannot process.”  – From MSN

(This was from his call into a radio show.) There’s an un-evolved mind here, but I don’t think it’s Chuck Lorre’s. And the only person who thinks Charlie Sheen is healed [of his drug/alcohol addictions] is Charlie Sheen… when he’s high.

But, no worries–he can join Mel Gibson on the crazy old men’s bench at the park, where they will talk about how they once had careers and money (Mel Gibson having more of both than Charlie Sheen). Lindsey Lohan will join them there too… once she gets out of jail.


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