October 18, 2010 – What a Fine Looking Jew

Dear Mr. Fehr:

I would like for you to be in the movie version of my book.  I have selected you to play the role of Joshua.  You should be equal parts charming, sexy, powerful and badass, with some Israeli Jew sprinkled on top.  I think you will not have a problem with this role, given your looks, nationality, the fact that you are awesome in a suit (or naked; we can rework the script to accommodate), and you have previous experience in action roles.  Either allow yourself to go completely gray, or we will need to color your hair so that it is completely gray for the movie.  Please have your people get in contact with my people for an audition (just a formality; you are at the top of my list).

Sincerely,

Keri

P.S.  What are your feelings towards shiksas?  I mean, if you met this young, zaftig shiksa (with a decent understanding of Yiddish), and she said age and religion were no object, what then?  Just curious.

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