A Funny for Your Day

As with anything online where people may post, my comments on this blog receive spam.  Most of the time it’s a single word (“thanks” or “great”).  There frequently isn’t a link in the post, but there is a link in the person’s profile.  This is probably more for Google bombing (the more times a link to your website shows up, the higher it will end up in the search rankings) than for actually trying to get people to go to a particular website.  I probably average a couple spam comments a week.

But I just found the following spam comment and it’s length and poor English is unique among all the spam comments I’ve gotten before.  And it’s hilarious (if you like Engrish Funny, you will like this).   

I’ve in any case notion it would be ethical to should prefer to those not hold up under show off shoes against when I do outdoor sports such as canoeing and dragon boating.

I want to know, what is dragon boating?  Is it this?  Because you know we frequently do this in the U.S. (and need proper shoes in which to do it).  And no, I don’t think spamming my comments in order to advertise your product is ethical.  Hence why I am publicly mocking you.

These uncommon sports shoes pander to to deuterium oxide outdoor sports in specific because of the water thick material it is made of.

Whatever translated this out of Cantonese (or whatever it was written in originally) has quite an English vocabulary.  I like the use of the word “pander” (it doesn’t get enough use, outside of election season); I just wish it was used in a way that makes sense.  And what the hell is deuterium oxide?  I don’t know, but it sounds kind of cool.

When I harmonize canoeing, I adapted to to either go with my undecorated feet or slippers, but was ever after having problems with both.

My dad didn’t use to harmonize canoeing either, until he put an outboard motor on the canoe.  Now they paddle downstream and motor back upstream for complete harmonization. 

Being barren footed meant that I influence learn gloomy close any debris that may cube when I walk on the sand or in the unsound while getting in or gone from of my canoe.

We like to go barren footed in the South during the summer too, but contrary to many Yankees’ beliefs, we only do this for fun and pleasure; we actually own shoes.  Although none with deuterium oxide.  I don’t think. 

When I sport slippers, again it indeed gets in the trail when my feet expire in the slime during common tide. It was when my slipper got stuck when I knew I had to after an open-air sports relaxation shoes.

If you are in slime so deep it’s sucking the slippers right off your feet, you need to find a new place to go dragon boating.  Around here, places like that are known to be “snakey.”  And you don’t want to go where it’s snakey.

I unmistakable to about of it as a cyclopean investment as it would ways greater and cleaner feet. I don’t know why I didn’t over of getting such show off shoes in the senior place. I supposition it was because my viewpoint of sport shoes was often for meet, and not in requital for other outdoor sports.

Does a cyclopean investment have only one point of view (and no depth perception), or does it move through a combination of human energy and a gear system?

So when I maxim the FiveFingers Alfresco Distraction Shoes – Black (Dimensions 42) on [link to website removed], I was indeed unfaltering I wanted it.

With proper punctuation (a period or semi-colon, either one), I think that could be a great catch phrase.  “I was indeed unfaltering.  I wanted it.”  “No way!”  “Way!”

Not at best can I pick up a celebrated doublet of out of doors shoes in the service of my water sports, I can have a fivefingers a specific!

I don’t know what they’ve been putting in your baby formula over there lately, dude, but fingers and shoes should not mix. 

Not guaranteed why they ring up it fivefingers in spite of, since actually the entertainment shoes is in the formulate of your five toes.

Oh, wait, here he clarifies.  Even the endorser doesn’t know why the product references five fingers when it’s really for your toes.  Is it just me, or have things hit a new low when product descriptions in Chinese don’t make sense to Chinese people?

This enables a advantage feeling on where you stroll, which is firstly renowned pro walking on the seashore and shelf waters. I’ve each time been a buff of “fivefingers” or toe socks, so this green out of doors shoes of repository is making me more fervent with my weekend outside sports endeavor.

I know “green” is the new buzz word in the marketing world (overtaking “organic”), but somehow I don’t think anything that contains deuterium oxide is green.

[Link to website removed] sure made me a delighted camper this convenience life, letting me own this colossal match up of romp shoes well-founded when I needed it.

The phrase is “happy camper” but I think there’s something strangely pleasing (no pun intended) about “delighted camper.”

I’ve bought other lifestyle gadgets from [link to website removed] but this is the oldest someday I bought enjoyment shoes from any online shopping site.

Lifestyle gadget.  That is an inspired turn of phrase that I am so going to rip off. 

I till the end of time cerebration it unsurpassed to crack on any shoes, be it pleasure shoes, leather shoes, slippers, etc. or else you won’t recognize whether it’s a distinguished fit.

Baby, we are going to party in these shoes like it’s 1999. 

However, I couldn’t really discover a-ok spray outdoor sports sport shoes, so this rouse has decidedly enhanced my [link removed] shopping judgement, or my online shopping as a whole.

You just keep on thinking your rouse has worked; I am not fooled.

With it when I go seeking my weekly canoeing or dragon boating, my teammates are all cute amused before my fivefingers flaunt shoes, and gawk at them against some time.

I just bet they gawk at them, amused.

I guess the toe-shaped display shoes makes it look like a network of some sort, but it’s not like I can swim in these fivefingers shoes.

Are these shoes like toe socks?  I am confused.  How does that work on the shoe level?

I’m decision the alfresco sports shoes dialect right comfortable, and although I cannot beat a hasty retreat with it as I would with predictable operation wear shoes, at least I can stride along the pontoon or coast area in comfort, contrastive with when I utilized to walk barefooted.

Wait… did you just say you can’t beat a hasty retreat while wearing these?  Dude, have you never seen Deliverance?  When you’re in slimy, snakey areas without a gun, you need shoes you can run in. 

My feet tempered to to affront or communicate with scorched from the fervid territory, but not with these fivefingers sport shoes I don’t. Win a look at the pictures to undertake how the fivefingers outdoor sports hold up to ridicule shoes look like from the top and bottom.

Ridicule from top to bottom.  Yep, that about sums it up.

 
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3 comments on “A Funny for Your Day

  1. Keri Peardon says:

    And you know what’s really funny? I got a spam comment on this post which simply said “Interesting point” and contained a link, in the profile, to telephone wallpapers.

    Methinks you missed the point of this particular post.

  2. Ghost. says:

    Deuterium oxide?

    You really do not know what that is used for? I would stop there, but they you would think I google bombed you, whatever that is.

    Heavy water. It is used for solvent, if I remember correctly.

    But, the more important (if this is important) uses would involve H-bombs ….

    🙂

    So, why would someone write you to get Deuterium?

    Ghost.
    PS – I was looking for information on motors on canoes, and got your blog …. that was odd enough.

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