I know… I go days without a post, and now I have two right together. Well, I just found out that I have someone following me on Plinky, and now I feel like I need to Plinky a little more often because I’ve set an expectation. That, and the whole point of me blogging is to get followers who will eventually become my own army of undead and not-too-dead fans for my book. So I need to feed the fans words!
“Overheard at my own funeral”
This assumes there is a funeral. I refuse to arrange one before my death, or leave money behind for one, and whoever will be in charge of my final disposal will be encouraged not to spend money on such a thing. As it is, if friends and family want to arrange an informal memorial service/wake with potluck grazing table, I’ll not haunt them from beyond the funerary urn (which I will make ahead of time; it will be beaded and gold-leafed in true medieval style).
But if such a memorial service takes place, what will people say? Of course, one must assume that only good things will be said because people are a little nervous about speaking ill of the dead, especially at the funeral. If people did talk bad about me, I would haunt them for that–you know, a cold breeze on the back of the neck just to give them the willies and make them rethink their choice of words.
They might say, “Well, obviously she never became a vampire.” Some might even admit to having not read any of my published books—at which point I would definitely give them a cold shudder so they know I am displeased with them. I mean, my friends should suck it up (no pun intended) and at least read ONE.
But what I hope they really say is, “She was so damn talented, it made me sick. I mean, I don’t think there was anything she couldn’t do.”
Which, incidentally, is my motto: Il n’y a rien que je ne peux pas faire, il n’y a uniquement des actes que je n’ai pas encore essaye a faire (there is nothing which I cannot do, there is only that which I have not yet tried to do).
That, and I hope all of our medieval friends are awed and a little jealous of our medieval free-standing tomb effigy. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to afford to get us one carved from stone, but I’ll find a way to fake it somehow. I just need a talented plaster artist, I think. If our families think it bizarre, well, more power to us!