Dog logic: They feed me, they pet me, they must be gods.
Cat logic: They feed me, they pet me, I must be a god.
Here’s your writing exercise for today, intrepid writers: write at least three pages from the point of view of either a cat or a dog. You don’t have to subscribe to dog logic/cat logic if you don’t buy into it (although if you don’t, I would question if you have ever truly owned either animal), but it’s a place to start. Your animal can be deeply intelligent, like Brain, the lab rat, or those pigs in Animal Farm (notice both of those animals are into social and/or world domination), or you can write a stream of consciousness piece on how you think your cat or dog really thinks. If I had to write about my cat, Noh, it would go something like this:
What the hell is that? Oh my God! It moved! Oh, wait, that’s just that woman’s foot. I wish she’d quit scaring me with it. I think I’ll sniff the scary thing, but I better stay as far back as possible in case it tries to get me. It doesn’t smell any different from yesterday. Did it look like this yesterday? I can’t remember. I think maybe it did. I think it’s just the floor. I know it didn’t use to be this color, though. But maybe it was this color yesterday. I guess I can walk on it. The giant water dish is still here, I see. I guess this is the same room it was yesterday. Holy shit! Flee, flee! The giant water dish is mad and it’s about to eat me!
You get the idea.